Where does Ahmad go when there is nobody of his opinion and sympathizer, accept is parents. He is walking homeward bearing the dying hunger. His parents are torn apart of seeing the condition of their son, in fact Ahmad has exchanged hot words with his parents, his heart is now weeping for his misbehavior with his parents for he love his parents extremely. The earlier manner reveals the same mental frustration which led him to be hungry as a self punishment for misbehaving with his parents.
He knock’s the door, “O, brother you, where were you”, said Zarkan, Ahmad younger brother, adding “father and mother are anxious about you”. He stepped in and closed the door from inside. In the living room his parents waiting him, “where were you my son,” said Ahmad mother with falling tears, “come and have some food,” said Sauja, Ahmad mother of semi old age and a simple house wife-for she very well knows that Ahmad would be hungry, with crying and weeping she holds the hand of Ahmad and said, “please eat something, your father is sunk in grief musing that what happened his son”. Ahmad was very hungry and his mental frustration has little bit vanquished so he sat down and took some food and started weeping while eating recollecting his deeds those deeds responsible for the grief and sorrow which befell on his parents every time. Zubair, father of Ahmad said nothing watching his son relaxing himself from distress and sorrow. Zarkan in a state of gloom is reading something sitting near father.
The family was the middle class and after the retirement of Zubair who kept the nice post in the Government service honestly up to his retirement is now poverty-stricken. Sometime all the family members ponder over their fate in the poorly lit living room. Everyone in the family seems miserable of their fates. Zubair thinks his honesty responsible for all this.
Ahmad ate food-not for taste but to quench hunger pangs and went to his room. He is shivering with killing chill, alas! He hasn’t sources to warm himself he enters into bedding weeping quietly over the destiny for he has broken the heart of his parents on whose feet is paradise.
The next morning depressed and dejected, pen in his hands thinking”:_
Is this the Future?
I waited for;
For, what I expected;
Peace, a peaceful life.
Why I exist in this world;
I hate my existence,
I am burning in the gaze of slavery.
My heart is weeping;
I am helpless to obey the eternal nature.
Wrote Ahmad weeping pouring out stream of painful emotions from his mind, after taking breakfast he quietly went out- without telling anything to his parents-towards the unknown destination, thinking and walking through the lanes, through the roads rambling like a vagabond.
A desire less person is he sunken in the sea of emotions, “am I mad or insane,” said he to himself wandering through the lanes like a mean animal, “but where would I go” said he, adding “shall I go for some recreation but where I see everything burning”. He stopped and again to self, “shall I practice my knowledge which I have by great toil and hard work, oh, that is fine” Said he to himself. “Shall I advise a gambler how to throw dice or teach him crooked tricks to replace the card numbers in a great gamble, but wouldn’t it be sin to encourage immoral, unethical activities”, paused he thinking “shall I write the enchanting speeches for a politician so that people could follow him blindly, ‘this seems sound’ but would it be just deed to change the opinion of the people and make them to lead a life not of their own choice”. “I must refrain from this, lest people should take responsible for their ruin”.
The impulsive overflow of thoughts led Ahmad to that state of mind where mind almost looses the thinking power. During this course of time he reached nowhere but time is about to throw the veil of darkness. For Ahmad like darkness and he sometimes wish all darkness and nothing else. “The night befell, oh! I want to hug this beautiful night for this bestows relief to me”. Not in bliss that darkness hides the deeds in her lap, but death like state that arise. Ahmad took way back to his home through the same abandoned house, and on its approach he heard some recitation coming out of that house; he stopped timidity makes him shiver, concentrates on the sound and senses it that of a man; he went inside this house and found a man reciting some words with closed eyes.
“Who are you”, said Kuhan with a pitch of fear in his voice. The man opened his eyes and looked towards Ahmad awfully. “Who are you and what the hell you doing here in this dead darkness”, said the man to Ahmad. “Nothing I was walking from this side”, replied Ahmad, “now go back”, told the man, “but why”, asked Ahmad adding “what are these words you recite’, “this is not your business, you go”, shouted the man at Ahmad.
Ahmad left the place without arguing any more.
“What the man recites which I didn’t know and why was he there during the darkest period of time”, thinking this, he reached home, knocked the door. Sauja, mother of Ahmad, opened the door and he went inside. Tormented with grief and sorrow his mother looks at Ahmad tenderly and gave him food to eat. Ahmad looked towards his mother with touching eyes; ate the food quietly in a poorly lit living room.
